Ladies and gentlemen, this is what trying to conceive looks like.  Superdrug have taken a lot of my money over the course of this year so far!

Ladies and gentlemen, this is what trying to conceive looks like. Superdrug have taken a lot of my money over the course of this year so far!

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Perfection ❤️

Perfection ❤️

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I took littlest’s to spend his pocket money after school this afternoon. He had a BLAST!! Sadly his pocket money didn’t stretch to this Audi, but littlest did score himself a pretty awesome Ghost Rider toy.

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  1. Learn to put on your bracelets and zip up your dresses by yourself. There will be times when you will be alone.
  2. Get on a long plane ride. Look out the window. Understand the immensity of our world. Understand your insignificance. Understand your absolute importance.
  3. Press the send button. If you don’t say it now, you never will.
  4. Do not sneer at happiness or roll your eyes at sadness. Be aware that apathy is not healthy.
  5. You are more than the amount of people who want to have sex with you.
  6. That pit in your stomach when he doesn’t text you back, it shouldn’t be there. No one should be able to control you like that.
  7. Shopping is cathartic. Buy the shoes and deal with one-ply toilet paper for a while.
  8. It will get better, but it will never be perfect. Learn to live through the small moments of happiness. When they disappear, remember they will resurface.
  9. I promise that cookie will not change anything (except that it will make you smile).
  10. Please, please, take care of yourself. You are everything to somebody. You are everything to your self. That alone is enough.
things to remember, -n.m.  (via seabelle)

(via littlelouandtwo)

Here’s my seven for this Sunday

  1. We never got to go visit my dad because the day before we were due to leave I developed labyrinthitis (middle ear infection). It came on out of nowhere and scared the life out of me. It brought with it a severe bout of vertigo so bad that I couldn’t even raise myself on to all fours. My head was swimming violently and I couldn’t stop vomiting. It took me two hours to get to the phone to call for help and my hero of a mum arrived at the same time as the speedy doctor. After having to crawl to the door pantless and a shot in the butt, my head settled and the anti sickness/dizziness meds have kept it at bay since. I had no idea what was happening to me because I didn’t feel ill, I wasn’t in pain, it was just like the worst feeling of seasickness combined with being literally blind drunk. Hideous. Needless to say I’ve not been able to move, much less travel. Today I decided to try a short walk for some much needed fresh air (I LOATHE being bed-ridden) and it was a huge mistake. I must have looked like Bambi on ice. I’ll try again tomorrow but in the meantime, our trip has been postponed to next week so at least I have something to look forward to again!
  2. On the good news side of things, I found out this week that I have passed my government ordered health assessment. That is to say, I passed the test to prove that I am unfit for work. Bit of a paradox there, I passed a test to prove I would fail.
  3. I’ve fallen in love with littlest and would-be husband all over again this week. Would-be husband has been brilliant at making sure that I can rest and littlest has just been…littlest. He has been so loving, bright, observant and funny. He’s been such a good boy and it’s been a real tonic having snuggles and chats with him. I am so blessed to have these two for my own.
  4. I frigging hate ironing. No elaboration necessary.
  5. Would-be husband is binge, nay gorge-watching Bates Motel. I was too late to jump on that train when he started but I’ve been doing my own binging lately. First up was Luther (Idris Elba mmmmmmm) and oddly, Melissa and Joey. Now don’t judge, I enjoyed the gentle comedy and it was fun seeing two of my childhood favourites all grown up. I’m still trying to beg would-be husband to watch Breaking Bad but he has this weird thing that he doesn’t like watching things I’ve already seen. I keep trying to explain, it’s Breaking Bad!! You can never watch it too many times.
  6. Art Garfunkle was on TV singing one of my favourite ever songs tonight, Sound of Silence. Made my night that did.
  7. Ok, talk amongst yourselves but be warned, Downton is on in half an hour and I will be asking the Internet to shut up.
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True that.

True that.

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I’ve been knitting. A lot. These are a few of my favourites.

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The ‘waiting in the car for the school gate to open’ selfie.

The ‘waiting in the car for the school gate to open’ selfie.

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Sunday’s Random Thoughts

Me and littlest are having a duvet day, he has a party to go to this afternoon so we are having a recharge first.

I realised yesterday why I’ve been having such a slump this week. Because for three days out of seven I forgot to take my meds. Doh!

It’s only 80 days until Christmas.

We are soon going to visit my dad for the first time in over four years! Dad has been to stay with us two or three times a year since but we’ve not travelled to him in so long, I’m really looking forward to it.

Littlest is learning the value of money by ‘earning’ now. If he helps out, stays dry through the night or does something we are proud of or he works for, then he gets ‘a penny’ (anything from 10p to £1 depending on what the reward is for) and now he saves his pennies in his purse until he has enough for whatever he currently has his eye on. It’s working well, he asked if he could wash the dishes last night.

Round six of trying to conceive has started in earnest. I am loving the extra, ahem, ‘attention’ but I sure hope that this month is the month.

We saw my sister and nephew at my mum’s yesterday. Once upon a time littlest would be all shy and quiet for about an hour before joining in but this time, he rushed straight towards his cousin and played happily the whole time we were there. It was wonderful to see.

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This Friday’s Five

1. In a moment of pique, I decided that the bugs were right. Our upstairs windows ARE filthy. So I set up a giant extendable squeedgy thingy and microfibre cloth, filled a bucket with water and vinegar and then set to work. You know what? Window cleaning can piss right off! After half an hour of squeedgying and mopping over and over, the damn windows are still smeary! What a waste of bloody time.

2. I am still waiting for the results of my ATOS assessment. It’s getting ridiculous, almost a month now with no money and the bills are bouncing all over the place. The trouble is, I can’t pick up the phone for an update because I get too anxious. It’s taken me all week to work up the nerve just to pick up the phone to add recovery to our car insurance!

3. I’m looking forward to the weekend. I’ll be seeing my sister and nephew at my mum’s and hopefully it will be nice enough weather to take the kids along to the park.

4. I’m still in a slump but it’s become a way of life at the moment. I have to fight the urge to sleep all day long because it’s simply exhausting just being awake. I am powering through for littlest, but I am so very grateful for school and the fact that I don’t have to be ‘on’ all day long.

5. I read somewhere that raspberry leaf tea was helpful for women trying to conceive so I’ve been drinking a cup or two every day for the past four days. Today, my saliva microscope has picked up partial ferning patterns already, almost a week early!! I’m going to monitor it closely but the tea clearly seems to be doing something.

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